The Day Before

It was the perfect day. He was in a good mood, everything went right. We spent time together, we went out to dinner, after dinner we walked around the mall and had our picture taken in one of those booths that produces a sketch rather than a photo. He seemed 100 percent with me, as if he left all other thoughts and worries behind, to deal with a different day. This couldn't be the same person who was dealing with major depression, this was not the same person who had attempted to take his life and this didn't resemble the person who had scars on his legs from self-inflicted wounds. He talked as if there really weren't any problems, like he had never attempted suicide as if tomorrow would be even better than today, that he really had begun to heal and things were going to get better. Later that night I found out that he was still talking to the friend he had earlier confided hopelessness to, and I didn't know what to do about it, as soon as it came up I asked him about it, and he lied. I had proof, and he didn't say anything, he just stared out, like he was empty and there was nothing I could do to bring him back to where he had been a few hours ago. It didn't matter who he was talking too, it was a problem that these feelings were still so prominent, I didn't know what to do, so I didn't say anything more, and later we were both home. I didn't sleep, I knew something was wrong, the shift from ultimate happiness to vacant emptiness wasn't normal, and something I had never seen in anyone before. I couldn't go to bed, he requested me to come to bed a few times but I couldn't. When morning came and he woke up I sat in front of the bedroom door, I wanted to talk about what was going on and I was afraid, I thought that he was past the heightened suicide risk that happens in the first month of anti-depressants, something wasn't right but I was so tired that I couldn't think or feel properly. We talked and he said that he wanted to take a drive to be alone and sort things out, it was unusual as he didn't like driving, but it made sense, and I could use some time to think also, at this point I knew I would stay with him until he made it through this, then we would decide what to do from there. He held me longer than normal, like he didn't want to let me go, then kissed me. Went down stairs said good bye to our son and he left...